Emperor Raynaud IV of Francia, 1260-1264 AD

(Previously on Royal Dispatch.)

The fourth Raynaud! Is that too many Raynauds? Well my heir is also Raynaud so we have at least one more coming, barring accident or plot. Let’s check the lineage.

This new Raynaud is back to rocking a beard, which I like to see. Dear departed Dad was the only clean-shaven Thouars ruler so far (though two did favor heavy stubble over a beard). I am not sure what prompts Raynaud IV to do the thoughtful hand-to-mouth expression, which is new to the family.

I am the second genius Emperor but it looks like that ends with me. My wife Agnes is Amazonian but no genius herself, meaning our kids had only a chance rather than a surety to inherit my big brain. In fact my heir Raynaud 5 inherited Robust—a nice but lesser version of his mom’s physical acumen—but got no brainy traits at all. Pity. My baby daughter Agnès hit the jackpot, inheriting both Amazonian and Genius. She’s already a fearful warrior and she’s only two years old. She’d make a great empress!

How about the big map??

Very nice. With Britannia’s imperial crown added to my mantel, it’s time to look for the next one. That big MAN down in Spain represents the Man Sultanate (no relation to the Isle of Man(n) up in Britain).

This is easily the biggest congealed Muwalladi nation in the area so far, and they’re no pushover. Most of their territory encompasses two different de jure kingdoms. As we’re of different faiths, I could declare a holy for one of those kingdoms, but only after I’ve considerably increased my personal devotion level to Catholicism. Something to consider perhaps but that would be a big messy war for sure.

Of more immediate interest is the sprawling de jure empire of Germania.

I already control 59 of the 116 counties required to create this empire, so it feels like the right place to renew continental aggression.

But first let’s sort out our titles, hire a new council, and try to survive succession! Before my rise to emperor I was King of Wales, so I offload that title—and the duchy and counties below it—to various Thouars kin. This also provides a nice method for burying my beloved two brothers (and title claimants) Maurice and Aymar as counts under the new King Hamelin Pardiac. Quite likely Hamelin will be dealing with rebellions of his own, but with luck should keep everyone distracted for a bit.

Next up, it’s time to let go of my personal holdings in England and put a king I can trust atop that mess. I divvy up the duchy of Lancaster, then turn my attention to the various dukes who would/could be king. There are several of my dynasty, some of whom are certainly too weak to hold on to the crown. Then there are those who are strong enough to stick it out—but some of them are close relatives who have claims on the empire itself. Don’t want to put them right next to me just yet. I settle on a compromise guy who has no imperial claims and is about the third-strongest militarily, so all hail King Sigismond Othonson Thouars-Shaftesbury. Good luck my guy.

Of less import but similarly a priority in terms of housekeeping, it’s also time to allocate away the kingdom titles of Scotland and Ireland. So I hand out Scotland to the Duke of Mann, now hailed as King Rutger Donnchaid, and Irleand to the jarl of Connacht, now Queen Freyja Nikolaussdottir. Don’t mind me, please do fight amongst yourselves!

After handing out these crowns and reallocating their vassals, all four of these new monarchs love me to the max (and have truces with me). So with luck I shouldn’t receive trouble from my British subjects for a bit, unless of course my stooges get overthrown.

Back at home I pack my council with the usual malcontents, though there’s never enough seat for every dissatisfied subject. Nevertheless I’m surprised that there’s very little factional unrest, at least for now.

Conspicuously absent from court is my wife, Empress Agnes.

No available spouse! How tragic. Agnes—who you may recall is a known adulteress—is off visiting the court of my steward Duke Charles Thouars-Thouars of Poitou, who is a great vassal other than being Possessed and thus currently excommunicated. What’s he doing with my wife? I probably do not want to know. I can imprison him at will due to his demonic brain problem, so let’s just see what comes out of all that. But maybe I do want to know, so I send my spymaster to poke around Charles’ court.

To get things spicy on the political front, I dispatch my archbishop to begin fabricating claims in the duchy of Hess, which is a step along the way to creating the kingdom title of East Francia, which in turn represents a goodly chunk of the empire of Germania. This will take a while!

Meanwhile the Mongols have crested and broken over in the west of Asia without making much impact in Europe.

Still lots of individually tough khanates in the mix, but looks like I don’t have to worry about an invincible wave coming my way from over there.

Otherwise there’s not much to do if I want to keep my focus on Germania, as I don’t have many existing casus belli that aren’t about holy wars versus Muslims for parts of Spain I don’t currently want. I end up declaring war on the petty kingdom of Nyitra for one lousy German county that they control from afar, just for something to do.

Of course, once my troops are committed, other developments demand my attention. The game psychically senses my suspicions about Empress Agnes and takes me through two events examining the possibly adulterous heritage of two of my daughters, but I find nothing concrete and irritate both children and their mother (the latter of whom is still absent). Then my heavyweight vassal King Ancel of West Francia assists the teenaged king of Bohemia in also claiming the throne of Bavaria, creating a sudden German superstate right next door. And when that’s done, Ancel promptly creates a new Liberty faction against me—and he’s strong enough to cross the ultimatum threshold all by himself.

What’s worse is he has nobody in his court I can forge a quickie alliance marriage with, so will have to either mollify him somehow or enjoy a big fat civil war. Fortunately Ancel is susceptible a quick bribe, and disbands his faction once the gold clears his account. Have to stay on his good side though, so I start a Sway scheme to improve our relations as backup.

After occupying the target county, winning several easy battles, and capturing everyone with a pulse, the silly war with Nyitra ends in victory. My son and heir Raynaud comes of age, and once again there are not many non-Thouars marriage candidates with the Genius trait I’m always looking for. I resign myself to betrothing him to the 10-year-old Hodierne de Durban because she’s a genius and also Pretty. Worth waiting for, son.

Otherwise, I now have enough fabricated claims to make war for the duchy of Hess, part of the larger project of creating the kingdom of East Francia, which is in turn part of the even larger project of incorporating the empire of Germania. I send my archbishop to start on the next fabrication project while I build up the funds for a middling war. Before that though, it’s time to attend to my domestic situation, i.e. my absent wife.

I imprison Duke Charles and take all but one of his titles with no penalties because of his excommunicated status. Despite losing all his French titles though, he still has one county left in England—Berkshire—that I can’t revoke without incurring tyranny penalties. My wife duly relocates to Charles’ court in Berkshire, even though the Count himself is locked away in my dungeon, where he shall remain until death. Maybe that will make my wife come home!

On the plus side, after revoking most of Charles’ titles I’m now directly controlling the Aquitanian duchy of Poitou and the dynastic home county of Thouars for the first time in several generations. I’ll give it away eventually, but a lovely trip down memory lane.

I’m just about to move on wee Hesse when my forgery-proficient archbishop comes through with a big win.

Taking all of East Franconia at a stroke would be extremely convenient, as it contains eight counties all by itself. That would be enough to allow me to create the kingdom of East Francia, which would give me a nice basket of claims to pursue. And King Henryk Meran of Bohemia/Bavaria is already fighting two wars and is deeply in debt.

War with Bohemia it is, and also Italy apparently because they’re allied. Together they have less than half my soldiers though so I’m not pressed. Meanwhile, my third son Hélie comes of age. I marry him to an Orthodox Serbian woman named Biljan Karling-Jajce who shares his Hale trait, insuring durable babies.

In other happy news, my rival and weird possessed excommunicated guy Charles dies in my dungeon.

Aha ha ha! And now my wife will come back! Except she doesn’t, now visiting the court of some child duke up in Scotland. That’s when I realize after some clicking around that she’s absent because she’s in flight after I attempted (and failed) to imprison her. Must have happened due to her adultery-ing back before I took over this Raynaud as my player character. Very well! Time to ring up my pal the Pope.

Sorry Agnes! Time for both of us to move on. I don’t need an alliance or more children, so I shop around for a new wife with interesting stats. I settle on an age-appropriate Greek lady named Philippa Androsalites with a very high Learning skill (she’s a genius!), which will help with technology development.

She seems cool, except for the part where I forget to check her other traits or I would have noticed she’s a lunatic. Oh well! Should make court life a little more eventful.

Next: How about 17 simultaneous wars!