Emperor Raynaud of Francia, 1189-1213 AD

Mongols, Flanders, and that giant bitch.

January 27, 2022

Back at court, my son Aymar comes of age. I marry him to an Intelligent girl of French extraction named Cécile de Montlaur. My archbishop finishes a fabrication mission across the channel, managing to land a claim to the entire petty kingdom of Kent. Well done your bishopness.

Even though war weariness among the vassals is still pretty high, I’m also a popular emperor so it doesn’t seem to bother folks too much. I decide I can’t wait and need to prosecute a few de jure and claim wars while my foes are vulnerable. We begin with the Republic of Venice, which still controls my de jure county of Nice and is currently on the skids troopwise. Should be a walk.

And in fact it is, with Nice returned to my realm’s control with nary a struggle. In the meantime though I’m called to assist with yet another Bavarian rebellion. Oh well, at least my army is already in the neighborhood.

While I’m casually strolling around, my vassals have not been idle. Apparently our old foes in Lotharingia have fallen so far that poor King Stefan II lost three wars against my subordinates—taking up so much of his territory that I can now usurp his entire kingdom. So I do! I’ll have to usurp his remaining duchy as well after I’ve dealt with this Bavarian mess.

My son Arnoul comes of age, and I marry him to a young French lady name of Reynilde d’Annonay. In Bavaria, I sack a couple castles and win a couple minor battles, then call it a day. They can take care of the rest, or not.

I spend some time pruning and grafting Lotharingia’s title structure. This sort of surprise integration does begin to happen once you reach the empire level, as your own vassals’ power begins to rival that of neighboring independent rulers. So when the balance tips in favor of absorption, you have a mix of existing vassals who have grabbed new land, and new vassals coming into the fold who start out weaker.

But in the name of balance, I find it ideal to give the big titles to the weaker vassals who come over peacefully. This puts at least a temporary control on those big vassals from becoming too powerful, too quickly. Of course nature abhors weakness at the top, so it’s quite common for the new bosses to get knocked off. Such is natural selection, but it keeps everyone busy for awhile.

So, in aid of all that, welcome the newly minted King Alois IV Bergh-Bar of Lotharingia! He’s described as an “Insane Blackguard” and has the Stupid trait. Should be an awesome king.

I decide to go back and finish off this irritating Bavarian war just because King Ekkehard II is my cousin after all. Meanwhile, my son Eudes comes of age, and I marry him to a genius Mogyër named named Étienette de Székelyudvarhely.

But then!

The Mongol invasion event is the traditional late-game shakeup in Crusader Kings. They’ll sweep over from Asia and will almost certainly penetrate to my borders eventually, though by then the horde breaks up into semi-settled nations. But they probably won’t make it to Western Europe for a generation or two. Fun times ahead!

I clean up the latest dumb war in Bavaria at last and contemplate my next real target. I have two sets of fabricated claims that will expire on my death, so I should really attend to those first. The claims in Cornwall are complicated by that ruler’s alliance with East Anglia, who has a monster army of his own. I decide instead to go for the petty kingdom of Kent, which will be no pushover but less of a chore to overcome. Regardless, I wait a few months to allow my levies to recover.

My daughter Étiennette comes of age. I marry her matrilineally to an older Greek guy named Paschalis Hamartolos because he’s a genius and good with swords. Seeing more and more Thouars geniuses popping up in the marriage rolls, but none so far in our direct line. Progress though.

The Kentish war looks like an easy route. I’m about halfway done when, unbelievably, I’m called once again to help out my cousin King Ekkehard II in yet another Bavarian rebellion. Getting the sense that absolutely nobody likes this guy.

Kent falls with barely a whimper. I begin establishing the first generation of client dukes in England, who will one day help our dynasty claim the kingdom. My son Érrard comes of age, so I betroth him to the 12-year-old Bérengère Aleramo, who’s worth the wait due to her genius brain.

While I’m mucking about once again in Bavaria, the French culture finally enters the Late Medieval era of technology, which is important because this precious little baby is finally available to research:

Primogeniture makes title planning and family handouts fully manageable—no more splitting of anything. Primary heir gets everything, which means it’s also safer to hand out consolation titles to others. Won’t happen in Emperor Raynaud’s lifetime, but soon after!

I force the end of yet another Bavarian misadventure through the power of numbers, which incurs heavy losses among my troops even in victory. My daughter Blanche’s husband Konrád Pohanský is among the dead, so I marry her to a new guy named Jacques du Perche, whose sole inheritable trait is “Fecund.” Go for it kids.

Looking back to England, I’m delighted that the petty queen of Cornwall has died, abrogating her alliance with the unfeasibly trooped-up East Anglia. However for some reason the two-county kingdom is now split between the new petty queen and Italy. I roll over the former in about two seconds, but it remains unclear how easily I can extract the other half of Cornwall from Italy. Best to leave that be for now.

Being 55 years old and of poor health, it’s wise to avoid spending time or money on fabricating further claims that could expire on my death before I can press them. Plenty of de jure cleanup on the borders to occupy my bloodlust. My daughter Marie comes of age, so I marry her matrilineally to a smart guy named Alain de Montaigu.

I grab one independent duchy, then think belatedly to check in on my heir and grandheir. Raynaud 2 is doing all right, and his oldest son, Raynaud 3, is a genius! So close to a genius emperor! But he’s also wrathful, and a glutton. Not crippling but not nice either. Clearly I should have been in charge of his education, which I take over now. He’s 11 years old, so I should be able to steer him at least a little better. Raynaud 2 is himself 34 years old already, so he’ll have a relatively short run in the top job agewise.

Next up in the de jure consolidation wars:

That’s right, it’s stupid sexy Flanders. The local prince has long resisted vassalization, when he is by right Our subject. But he needn’t worry, as soon enough he’ll be ruling nothin’ at all. (Independently, at least.)

Flanders proves little obstacle, even with a last-minute troop infusion from allies all the way over in Cyprus. Into the insatiable maw of empire you go.

Turning my acquisitive eye back to England, I note that East Anglia has just completed a series of wars, participating as allies, that gained them little but seriously depleted their morbidly obese army. I decide to pursue a claim on the petty kingdom on behalf of one of my courtiers, who will take it over and become my vassal if we succeed. Current Petty King Aelfmaer V Aelfmaerson London will still retain the petty kingdom of Ease Seaxe, but this should reduce his threat considerably.

While I’m romping around the south of England, my forgotten “rival” Weickhard makes his noxious presence known.

I had also forgotten that I’m in alliance with none other than Moldavia until they (of course) call me to help them fight off a rebellion. Will definitely jump on that.

My granddaughter Adelaide, first daughter of Blanche, comes of age. I marry her to a stout lowborn Greek named Athanasios. More crucially, my grandson, ward, and grandheir Raynaud 3 comes of age. He turned out … all right I guess.

Perhaps his Genius trait will have a more positive impact on his own progeny. I betroth him to the 10-year-old Guillaumette de Montlaur, who is also a genius (and also has the Hale trait). Supposedly, if both parents have the genius trait, then children will automatically inherit it. Which would make her worth the wait.

Good old giant bitch Weickhard is exposed for the second time in a murder plot targeting yours truly.

Not sure what’s changed, but he’s suddenly much more vulnerable to me returning the favor, so I get that plot moving right away. Would love to have him precede me from this life.

But it is not to be!!!

Would have preferred to leave a larger gold pile for my son, because no doubt there will be some big ol’ rebellions happening. Good luck junior!