King Jacques of Aquitaine, 1016-1018 AD

(Previously on Royal Dispatch.)

Here at the dawning of the second Thouars king of Aquitaine, let us dutifully consult the dynasty tree so far.

Two kings in the family these days! Now let’s check my look in the mirror.

Can’t say as I’m loving the stubble on Jacques, but styles change. Maybe he’ll do a more fulsome midlife crisis beard. As expected, under the rules of confederate partition inheritance, my brother Guy becomes King Guy II of Brittany and takes those lands out of my control. How does Guy II stack up?

Dang but he’s probably a much better king than Jacques. At least we’re still pals. King Guy II does have a son named Guy but he’s second in line, and may not inherit anything in the smaller stakes of Brittany. So might not be a King Guy III. Time will tell.

My own son and heir, Aymar, is joined in siblingness (to date) by my daughters Sarrazine, Béatrice, and Valence.

This is the first inheritance situation for the Thouars that follows the traditional Crusader Kings cycle of kingly succession crises. That is, when a new monarch is crowned, first they have to charm, bribe, intimidate, subjugate, and/or eliminate restive vassals, rebels, and other title claimants until everyone more or less accepts your rule.

King Jacques doesn’t have as high a stewardship skill as his dad, which dictates how many counties I can personally control in my domain without penalty. So first I have to grant a couple counties to some vassals. That done, I fill out my council with several of my more powerful dukes and duchesses, which mostly placates them.

That leaves a simmering popular uprising of Catalan peasants who are also Muwalladi Muslims. This would not be a huge deal normally, but they’re joined by my vassal Duke Gartzia III Antsez Vasconia-Lizier of Armagnac, whose family converted to Muwalladism under the Sultanate’s brief rule of Aquitaine. Adding Gartzia into the rebel mix makes that war not an existential threat exactly, but still something that requires more muscle to quash.

Right on time, here come the rebel scum. Turns out the rebel leader is an actual giant! Why am I always menaced by these giant guys.

So yes, it’s war, but then he has to go and get personal???

Child of a mangy dog! Why you little, or rather gigantic … but I needn’t have worried and in fact wasted money on mercenaries. I managed to wipe out the peasant rabble before they could meet up with Duke Gartzia’s more seasoned troops, capturing the giant rebel boss and ending the war after a couple months.

Look at him, he can barely fit in his cage! I let him out of his cage though, on the condition of converting to Catholicism and joining my service as a knight. Never pass on up on a good giant recruit for the armies.

The equally caged Duke Gartzia presents a more interesting opportunity. I have held off increasing the realm’s crown authority up to now, because keeping it on the lowest level—Autonomous Vassals—grants a +10 opinion bonus. But by stepping it up a notch to Limited Crown Authority, I can revoke titles when I have a valid reason. Such as, when a vassal rebels.

Now all of Gartzia’s titles—the duchy of Armagnac and several counties within—are mine to redistribute to someone else, replacing a rebellious malcontent with a grateful sycophant. Such as my son and heir Aymar.

By parking Armagnac and its counties with Aymar, it gives him territories he can in turn grant to a new vassal when he becomes king, building in a loyal vassal from the start to deal with his own less friendly subjects. The system works! We hope!

To add insult to injury, or rather perhaps just more injury, I release the now unlanded Gartzia on the condition that he renounce all claims to his former titles. This prevents him from being used as an excuse for someone else to go to war later on. He can go be mad about it somewhere else.

My brother and best pal King Guy II is in dire trouble over in Brittany, losing wars to rebels and two rebellious subjects. Despite being on good terms, he won’t agree to an alliance since we have claims on each others’ titles—meaning I can’t come to his aid. I send him some gold in the hope it helps, but it don’t look good over there.

Next: Incest? Murder? How about both!